I know if there is one thing I have lamented on, and those closest to me have heard me mention, its how little I have felt like I belong.
I know there are experiences in my early childhood that lend to this feeling: being too black, too fat, too weird, too alone, too sensitive, too inquisitive, yada yada. It is something I do my best to be as objective about: is this a me thing and my baggage or is this what is actually happening?
I am sure it is both. My early experiences inform my belief systems and perceptions, which informs and creates my reality.
It is something I have coined a “tribe wound” – the sense and experience of never belonging to any one people, place or thing.
Here’s the full circle moment: I don’t feel that way anymore. I have never felt more like I belong, and it has nothing to do with any external force outside of me.
I have finally found a sense of belonging because I am creating it for myself & with myself and, in the most unexpected way, the doorway to that belonging has been through my own solitude.
Unexpected & expected. Everything I need, yearn and ache for is already within me. It’s a lesson I’ve been learning for a while, you’d think I would catch on by now.
True to the paradox of life though – the more I have found myself in solitude the greater I have connected to and attracted people into my life.
It really all starts within.
To our growth,
Jean.