There an immense struggle that accompanies being a big dreamer who’s head is a little too in the clouds, expectations a little too unrealistic, and feet barely scraping the ground.
For me, it means I often have to put a lot of effort into maintaining the daily disciplines and practices that will get me to my highest visions and dreams. In my mind I can easily jump from step 1 to step 10 and beyond, but bringing that into the real deal, physical world doesn’t quite work as well.
Instead I have found myself needing to go from step 1 all the way to 1.1, then 1.2, 1.3, 1.4….
Sometimes there is an opportunity to make leaps, but usually each step has required care, attention, and diligence. More often than not I have stumbled backwards because I have gotten too impatient, haughty, and blinded by my own inflated perception of reality.
It is why, at this moment, it feels like I am starting over. Partly because I am, when you keep falling backwards you’re starting from the exact same position, and partly because I am determined to have a re-do, actually take my time and master all the steps the right way.
Its humbling to feel like a novice, but there is so much potential at new beginnings so I am going to make the most of it.
To our growth,
Jean.